If you are in an abusive relationship, think about:

• Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children: the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.
• Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
• Know how to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
• ID safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen, try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
• Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.
• Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house – taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
• Go over your safety plan often.
• If you consider leaving your abuser, consider the following:
• Two or more places you could go if you leave your home.
• People who might help you if you left. People who will keep a bag for you. People who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
• Keep change for phone calls or get a cell phone.
• Open a bank account or get a credit card in your name.
• How you could take your children with you safely? There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
• Put together a bag of things that you use daily. Hide it where it’s easy to access.





Here are a few items you should take with you if possible

• Children (if it is safe)
• Money
• Keys to car, house, work
• Extra clothes
• Medicine
• Important papers for you and your children
• Birth certificates
• Social security cards
• School and medical records
• Bankbooks, credit cards
• Driver’s license
• Car registration
• Welfare identification
• Passports, green cards, work permits
• Lease/rental agreement
• Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
• Insurance papers
• PPO, divorce papers, custody orders
• Address book
• Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
• Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

Think about reviewing your safety plan often. If you have left your abuser, consider the following:

• Your safety - you still need to.
• Get a cell phone. If you do not have one the police, your employer, or an anti abuse organization may be able to provide you with one.
• Get a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your employer.
• Change the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
• Tell friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
• Tell people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
• Tell someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and
  practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work. You may need to request a safer parking place.
• Don’t use the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser.
• Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
• A safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.
• Go over your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim’s lives. When abusers feel a loss of control – like when victims try to leave them – the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Continue being careful even after you have left.