If your date exhibits these behaviors, he/she is probably someone you should not date.

• Acts jealous and possessive.
• Won’t let you have friends.
• Checks up on you.
• Refuses to accept breaking up.
• Bosses you around.
• Insists on making all decisions.
• Belittles you and your opinions.
• Frightens or threatens you.
• Owns, uses or talks a lot about weapons.
• Acts violent, getting into fights or angering quickly.
• Pushes, grabs, or hits you.
• Pressures you for sex or gets serious about your relationship too fast.
• Uses alcohol or other drugs and/or pressures you to do the same.
• Threatens to hurt him/herself to make you comply with his or her demands.
• Demands that you lie to others about your relationship.
• Has been involved in a number of failed relationships.

What can your child do to protect themselves in a threatening situation?


Here’s some advice you can provide them:

• Talk to someone you trust and/or can help, like a parent, friend, counselor or clergyman.
• Tell a school counselor or security officer what’s going on.
• Make daily notes about the disturbing behavior.
• Avoid being alone with your date at home, school, work or anywhere else.
• When you go out, tell someone where you are going, who you are with and when you’ll be back.
• Plan and rehearse what you will do if your dating partner gets abusive.

If a friend of yours is a victim of dating violence, here are some ways you can help:

• If you see signs of abuse, talk to your friend about it.
• Tell your friend that you’re worried and want to help.
• An abusive partner often undermines the victim’s self-confidence, so point out your friend’s good qualities.
• Encourage your friend to speak with a trusted adult, offering to go along.
• If the situation’s getting worse, talk to an adult yourself, and if you witness an assault, contact the police, school principal or other adult immediately.
• Don’t endanger yourself by confronting the abusive partner.

If you want to take an active role helping others deal with dating violence, consider:

• Starting a peer education program for teenagers in your area.
• Ask your school librarian to purchase self-help books about dating violence and domestic violence.
• Use school bulletin boards and newspapers to raise awareness about the problem and how to deal with it.