Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Experience suggests they probably are. Begin by first solely communicating via email. Watch for odd behavior or inconsistencies. “Listen” to your correspondent’s words. The person at the other end may not be who or what he/she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.

Never include your last name, real email address, personal Web site URL, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your profile or in the initial emails you exchange with others. Make sure your email signature file is turned off, or does not include identifying information, when corresponding with dating service member via your own email. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for this information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with someone before revealing to any person your personal contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective. Don’t feel responsible to provide personal information just because the other person does; he/she may not be honest in what they provide.

Careful, well-thought-out decisions generally lead to better results in dating, and this is certainly true with online dating. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy. Any potential suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Your job is to take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person, and pay careful attention along the way. Take a relatively conservative approach to trusting anyone you meet online. If you believe someone is lying, it’s possible that they are, so act accordingly. Move on to someone you can eventually trust. Conduct yourself and your romances in a responsible manner. Don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.

A photo will give you a good idea of the person’s appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent. In fact, it’s best to view several images of this person in a variety of settings: casual, formal, indoor, outdoors. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it may be because that person has something to hide.

A phone call can reveal a lot about a person’s communication and social skills. Use your cell phone number for added security. Or make arrangements to call from a pay phone so the other person’s caller ID won’t record your number. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.

The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can gradually collect information and then make a choice about pursuing the relationship in the real world. You are never obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you do decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your gut instincts, even when they can’t be logically explained. Never meet someone who argues against your instincts or pressures you in any way.

Pay attention to any displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts at pressuring or controlling you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags. You should also be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following conduct without providing an acceptable explanation:

• Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, employment, etc. 

• Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy. 

• Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions. 

• Appears in person to be significantly different from his or her online persona. 

• Never introduces you to friends, professional associates or family members.

When you make the choice to meet offline, always tell someone where you are going and when you will return. Leave your date’s name and telephone number with that person. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home or where you work. Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time when many people are present. When the date is over, leave on your own as well. Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates. If you decide to move to another location, take your own car.

If you are flying in from another area, arrange for your own car and a hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. And carry a cell phone at all times.

Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid of your date or arrangements your date suggests, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help, or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in danger, call the police. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your apprehensions or your behavior. Your safety is much more important than any one person’s opinion of you.